A braver blogger than I

Or at least possessor of a stronger stomach is Roy Edroso at Alicublog, who regularly reads some of the most outrageous wingnut screeds and reprints them with sensibly snarky commentary. This week, in back-to-back posts, he dispatches some feminine ninny who compares Ivanka Trump to Kate Middleton and, pausing only to come up for air, a Louis L’Amour loon who compares her father Lord Boor to — wait for it — Abraham Lincoln: “Not since 1860 have American voters rejected their elite and chosen a candidate without apparent qualifications.”

Roy’s remark: “Ah, I see; so in 1860 Americans (40 percent of them, anyway) … rolled the dice on a former Congressman at the head of a burgeoning movement and party who had stood for the Senate and whose debates with Stephen Douglas, a watershed in American political discourse, had been widely circulated — which lines up pretty good with ‘former reality TV star’ and ‘famous bankrupt rageclown.'”

He forgot to mention how Lincoln was backed and Douglas hacked by the Russians, but I’m still a fan.

If she was a car, she’d burn rubber

Delta Jean MarieDespite having only three-quarters the usual allotment of claws, black cat Delta is shredding the hell out of my two black leather chairs, one in the living room and one in the office. She likes to leap and hurtle through the air before skidding to a stop on furniture, then dig in for traction and either launch herself or tumble clumsily from the top or arm of a chair, leaving punctures and lengthy claw marks.

Yes, this is going to be one of those blogs that occasionally shows a cat. Back in the early ’00s when we used a platform called Radio instead of WordPress and I had one of the top 50 blogs (i.e., when there were only 60 blogs in the world), I wrote and more famous and generous blogger Jonathon Delacour immortalized as a little plaque or meme We’re here, we blog, we post cat pictures, get used to it.

I yam what I yam

Red Meat moves into theology.

Also, speaking of this post’s title, Bark Bark Woof Woof‘s Mustang Bobby has a good take on evil vizier Kellyanne Conway’s instantly immortal phrase:

Fact: I’m a 64-year-old white guy with a mid-level government job who could stand to lose a few pounds.

Alternative fact: I’m a well-muscled billionaire who can fly.

Bobby refers to Conway’s “trying — and failing miserably — to be charming in a Fox News-like perky and yet devoid-of-reality sort of way,” but today’s attitude isn’t perky. It’s stern and paranoid, yet devoid of — nay, openly hostile to — reality, from the global gag rule that prohibits health care providers from even mentioning abortion to the clampdown on national parks tweeting about climate change. Been a vicious 48 hours, hasn’t it?

The Most Insecure Man in the World

In a Monday night meeting with lawmakers, Feckless Leader repeated the deranged claim that his whopping loss of the popular vote was due to five million illegal immigrants voting for Hillary Clinton. He added that the Sunday marchers and protesters on every continent were merely lured by promises of free ice cream and concluded, “I don’t always speak aloud. But when I do, I tell compulsive lies. Stay wary, my friends.”

So how was your weekend?

Feckless Leader’s inauguration speech was — in another observation that Google tells me somebody made ahead of me — nasty, brutish, and short. Then he sent press lackey Sean Spicer out to spout a flat-out lie about the size of the inaugural crowd. NBC’s “Meet the Press” host asked the she-serpent about it and got a hissed threat for his pains:

CHUCK TODD: … Then explain, you did not answer the question, why did the president send out his press secretary, who’s not just the spokesperson for Donald Trump. He could be — he also serves as the spokesperson for all of America at times. He speaks for all of the country at times. Why put him out there for the very first time in front of that podium to utter a provable falsehood? It’s a small thing. But the first time he confronts the public it’s a falsehood?

KELLYANNE CONWAY: Chuck, I mean, if we’re going to keep referring to our press secretary in those types of terms I think that we’re going to have to rethink our relationship here.

CONWAY: … Don’t be so overly dramatic about it, Chuck. What — You’re saying it’s a falsehood. And they’re giving Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that. But the point remains —

TODD: Wait a minute. Alternative facts? … Four of the five facts he uttered were just not true. Look, alternative facts are not facts. They’re falsehoods.

CONWAY: Chuck. It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.

Her boss said it best: Such a nasty woman.

Things looked better on Saturday, when I joined 175,000 friends and neighbors — about one-fifth the population of Boston — for a march and rally for the resistance. I heard inspiring words from Senator Elizabeth Warren and Mayor Marty Walsh, slightly less inspiring words from Native American, Muslim, and union activists, and uninspiring words from approximately 180 shelter pet adopters, crossing guards, and anyone slightly left of center given time at the podium while impatient would-be marchers threatened to trample me. I saw two Wonder Woman costumes (one on a male), every conceivable variation of the noun, verb, and adjective “pussy,” and (my favorite) I Know Signs, I Make the Best Signs, Everyone Agrees, They’re Fantastic, Just Great.

The truth stops at noon

What I believe (in agreement with Lawyers, Guns, & Money):

In October 2016, the FBI was investigating Hillary Clinton’s possible keeping of government emails on a home server. The FBI was also investigating links between a hostile foreign power (Russia) and the Trump campaign.

Director James Comey, in violation of numerous norms and rules about interference in elections, trumpeted the discovery of another cache of Clinton emails, though they were quickly found to be irrelevant. The FBI did not leak, proclaim, shout, or otherwise inform the public that it and other agencies were investigating the Republican team for evidence of treason.

In going public with one case but not the other, Comey’s FBI put an incalculably heavy thumb on the scale for the GOP campaign, which proceeded to lose the popular vote by a colossal margin but eke out the smallest of victories in the Electoral College. Trump’s first act as president will be to stop all investigations into his campaign’s connections to Russia.

Oh, and defund the National Endowment for the Arts.

It’s the top

The ’70s and ’80s were known for big hair (I had a Dorothy Hamill bob myself). How do you clean hair of that magnitude? Dishwashing detergent? Woolite? Fire? I remember the jingle of the day telling us how on AM radio:

The juice of one whole lemon
One whole lemon sets you free …

That’s what we got in every bright yellow bottle of

Lemon Up and make peace with grease
Yeah, Lemon Up sets you free
From this greasy little world, hey hey …

Surprisingly, Lemon Up is still available at the Vermont Country Store. It’s been marked up to $14.95, but I might buy some anyway. Come Friday, our little world is going to get a whole lot greasier.

Here a dolt, there a dolt

His daughter had a cute single on the radio a year or two ago, but Pajiba reports that the otherwise worthless Rob Schneider — let’s face it, the man’s job is to look dumb and unfunny next to Adam Sandler — has volunteered to “explain Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to THE MAN WHO LITERALLY SAT NEXT TO HIM.” The site also has some of Raging Boor’s greatest hits from his illiterate and incomprehensible interview with the Times of London, which will make those of us who took the SAT sprint to the liquor cabinet, if only to bash our heads against it.

But Broadway stars in concert and Margot Robbie as Tonya Harding? Maybe there are reasons to live after all.

What hath God wrought?

Disappointed in the “Sherlock” season four (and probable series) finale — giving Sherlock and Mycroft a sister, and having Sherrinford be a place instead of the third brother, was clever, but having the sister be the girl from The Ring with mind control powers who keeps popping in and out of her maximum-security prison was odd — we went out for brunch at Boston’s new City Tap. I saw on the menu and couldn’t resist trying a beermosa, which is exactly what you fear it is: wheat beer and orange juice (plus a dash of champagne). The first sip leaves you aghast, but it grows on one.