The product placement all-time champion

If we’re going to resuscitate this blog’s jingle of the day feature, we should do it with the only company to place not one but two jingles into the legendary hall of fame. Cue the lonely, depressed kid singing:

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
That is what I’d truly love to be
For if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
Everyone would be in love with me

Now switch to the little girl:

My bologna has a first name
It’s O-S-C-A-R
My bologna has a second name
It’s M-A-Y-E-R
Oh, I love to eat it every day
And if you ask me why I’ll say
‘Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

And how about the iconic Wienermobile, cruising America’s highways and byways since 1936? I just tried to think of the nation’s #2 hot dog maker and couldn’t. Case closed!

Update: Blog closed, enjoying dinner, I just thought of the nation’s #2 hot dog maker. Even if the references to fat and sissy kids would never be allowed nowadays.

Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs
What kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs?
Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks
Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox
Love hot dogs, Armour hot dogs
The dog kids love to bite!

A diet rich in nitrates and nitrites contributes to a rich memory for jingles.

No longer leader of the free world

I forget the name of the fatuous attorney on “Ally McBeal” who, whenever office conflict arose or people were absolutely furious about something, would pat the air and say over and over, “Bygones, people! Bygones!”, refusing to allow any discussion or expression of feeling or discussion of consequences. It’s clear, however, that that’s all Team Trump’s been doing since their hero, we’re told, made the briefest, most apologetic, hate-to-raise-the-subject mention of Russian meddling in our election in his meeting with Putin, instantly accepting Vladi’s claim of innocence and getting back to the job of impugning our own intelligence agencies on Twitter.

Meanwhile, the Times reports that Donald Trump, Jr., was offered damaging information about Hillary Clinton as part of an invitation to a June 2016 meeting with a Kremlin-connected Russian lawyer, which he, Jared Kushner, and campaign chairman Paul Manafort immediately accepted. Stand by your puppet, Trump fans.