The Pygmy Colossus

I should have gone to the airport to join the protests against the thief executive’s outrageous, hypocritical, and un-American let’s be honest and call it a Muslim ban, but I was oddly moved to look up the Statue of Liberty’s legendary lines and write a poem instead. With apologies to Emma Lazarus and the sonnet form,

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame
Whose conquering stride spanned wide from shore to shore,
Still less like our America’s dear dame —
The woman with the torch, who by the door
To freedom spoke inspiring words now moot.
She weeps in silence, while an empty suit
(Unbuttoned sport coat, anyway — such girth!)
Occupied by a preening, strutting boor
Stands like a toxic blight upon the Earth
And cravenly cries, “Keep your tired and poor!
The innocents and children fleeing war
Will get no welcome here. Let men say, ‘Shame!’
But huddled masses now will find a dearth
Of pity where democracy saw birth.”

Two tuna tunes

Commercial jingles are rarely more than a few lines long. Many are merely couplets, like

The best part of waking up
Is Folger’s in your cup

Although our jingle of the day series prefers retired or classic rather than current entries, so let’s fire up the bouzouki and sing along with this Greek classic:

Olympic Air will make you smile
But please, no dancing in the aisle

Alternatively, we could chant a couplet that my Florida niece and nephew inexplicably adored and repeatedly asked me to sing when they were young:

Bum, bum, Bumble Bee, Bumble Bee tuna
I love Bumble Bee, Bumble Bee tu – u – na

I think that one had some more lines, but I’ve forgotten them. It also had a competitor, which I do remember:

Ask any mermaid you happen to see
What’s the best tuna? Chicken of the Sea!

Yes, that’s the first question to ask if you see a mermaid. As a child, I thought it was the height of comedy to sing to the same tune, “Ask any bullfrog that you have on hand / What’s the best chicken? (Croak!) Tuna of the Land!” I was a deeply unpopular child.