Tweety? Skidmark? Smallhand?

You may have noticed references in this blog to the grotesque-elect, nightmare-in-chief, King Boor, and other euphemisms for an obscenity I will not mention (though none of my names, I freely admit, are as witty as alternatives all over the Internet such as Hair Fuhrer and Cheeto Benito). But I’ve been struck by a twist on the topic: What is his Secret Service code name going to be? Potus the Clown? Con Man? Liar? Disgrace? 666?

You have to imagine something that can be spoken quickly, so two or three syllables seem the limit rather than the long strings of abuse — Sexual Assaulter, Sociopath, Human Sinkhole — I usually say. So far I have three favorites:

3. Third Base
2. Runner-up
1. Comrade

Suggestions are encouraged in the comments.

There’s a new sheriff in clown

Now that Arizona birther scum and publicity hound Sheriff Joe Arpaio has been unseated and stepped down, another sheriff is bidding to replace him here, of all places, in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Bristol County Sheriff Thomas Hodgson has offered the grotesque-elect the use of county inmates to help build the orange one’s border wall with Mexico.

“I can think of no other project that would have such a positive impact on our inmates and our country than building this wall,” the Republican lawman said last night after being sworn in for his fourth term. “Aside from learning and perfecting construction skills, the symbolism of these inmates building a wall to prevent crime in communities around the country, and to preserve jobs and work opportunities for them and other Americans upon release, can be very powerful.”

Reaction tended toward the droll, with a spokesperson for U.S. Rep. Joseph Kennedy III asking why the wall would require forced labor — “Isn’t Mexico going to pay for it?” — and Governor Charlie Baker’s office saying that his administration “is thankful for the valuable community service inmates in Bristol County have provided through work programs and would prefer they continue to offer those services closer to home.” The xenophobic sheriff did not address how the wall or the transporting and housing of inmates would be financed, though he did suggest getting in touch with the Israelis because they’ve had lots of experience protecting their borders.